well.. all this whining on the rare occasions i show up here without really giving details is getting old. Problem is, without doing that, what the hell do I write? I could go into details, maybe I have to, thing is, I don't want to, I really don't want to now. Because things are fucked, really really fucking fucked. I'd say I've descended into the depths of fuckedness but that would be inviting things to fall even further, because they can, they always can, and they usually do. Things is, it's not all that bad so if I go into details, not that it makes all that much difference once I've already declared that yes, things really are shit, whatever they are, but then I'll get all this (at least a bit of it from probably at least one person) seriously concerned and giving suggestions that a: I've thought of and b:e just aren't going to work because things, and I don't have to explain my reasons for everything and meanwhile not actually being able to help because in this case none of you are near enough and that's cool because I know most people just can't, so great, and I know you would all help if you could and already get points for that.. sorry, been a bit like that already and it's a tiny bit annoying and I know it's awful to complain about it because people really are just concerned and want to be helpful. So, I'm currently "between homes" which is kind of a pain, to put it Britishly, and my cats, which were getting a bit numerous and out of hand for anyone without a country estate anyway have gone to live somewhere else, and I miss them terribly. And my stuff is still on the stairs of my old building and taking time getting moved for general reasons which is really getting on my nerves. So that's how it is. I think I gave enough details there.
Saturday, May 12, 2018
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Monday, April 02, 2018
This will either be a boring post about the weather, or an equally boring post about my life, vaguely outlined using the weather as a metaphor, I will see. It is spring, technically and also sort of really. The days are longer promising to get warmer but don't necessarily really, bla bla bla. It promises to get warmer in the next few days. It's not rainig at all now, but it promises to rain. Probably drizzle, the drizzle continues and it never pours, this is the metaphor bit. You see, it was raining, but the pouring never came. Now it promises to not quite pour but, whatever I said in the last post about it raining slightly more substantially than a light shower. Is shower lighter or heavier than light rain, or drizzle? I think I asked that in the last post too. So that, it's sort of promising to do that, again, as it does every so often, and that ,combined with the actual climatical spring, promised or otherwise is giving me a sense of something resembling hope, which will likely come crahing down or at least sliding down when I sit down one day and realise 5 out of 5 and a half promises turned into nothing. Oh well, at least I have this brief moment without which I would be very glum for very long indeed. What I'd really like is more stuff, and better stuff, but sometime the dreams are less fun than they should be when I start actually counting on them happening and when they like, don't, it's a problem. It also makes the reality, stuff I do get much less exciting as it never equals the wild fantasies in my head, which are never really all that wild as, are really good things that are beyond happening to me, at the moment, at least in those quantities. Yeah that's it, the second one, boring combination piece, weather and metaphor for. Hope you got something out of that.
Monday, March 19, 2018
It's not actually, literally. It's cold, one day before spring and we're having another one of those lovely freezes, and we had some snow, which is still lying around all hard and icy, but i wasn't actually writing about that. I was talking metaphorically. It's not raining metaphorically either, let alone pouring but it is, hmm, which one is the more modest, showers or light rain? I don't know. It might be drizzling. It could turn into rain but I don't want to count my chickens to add in another overused cliche to the mix, before they've, yanno, what chickens do. So some stuff is going on and there's other potential stuff. This time among the lots of potential stuff there are a few confirmed things so I can breathe for a minute. Only a minute though. Nothing too spectacular and not that much of it but for me, this is.. well, it's fucking pouring. Pouring I tell you!!!! Don't worry I'll be back to whining about something soon enough, I might even show up here to do it.
Thursday, March 08, 2018
I was going to write something substantial, that is, I toyed with the idea, and I had something in my head, at least a week ago now, that I totallz wanted to write, but I didn't, so I won't now. I kinda thought I would anyway, but I can't switch the language to English on this computer, and anything substantial or even substantial lite requires I have the proper writing tools at least. Or properish, nothing's really proper if I'm not on my own computer which I haven't had the use of for over 3 months now. So I'm writing this, and this, is nothing. It's a metaphor for my life. A bit dreary and boring, doesn't work properly and not much else. It's existing, not really living, and not in particular comfort or full of frivolous but entertaining engagements, either of which would happily leave me in a, if not blissful state, a state of being able to ignore, for the most part, that this existence is devoid meaning, or hope, or... there isnt another thing, why do I always feel the need for a third thing.. other than it's a common writerly convention that I'm too unoriginal to omit. There's your answer, not that I asked a question properly because I can't find how to write a question mark on this damn Czech keyboard. Where was I just imagine there is a question mark there sorry to not put this in brackets I can't figure out how to do them either. I was talking about my empty life. Yes, empty without my usual beloved distractions. Sad that I could be relatively happy with this life as long as I had internet and tv and could get warm and comfy in my own home often enough, but that's me. I don't know when, if ever, this will change, and if it changes it will for the better, or enough for the better, actually writing about it just leaves another grumble up here for all the world to see and for me to pore over in future, to get even more depressed because nothing will have changed by that time in the future, or not for the better, or enough for the better. I guess this means it's time to stop.. oh well that's enough of nothing.
Friday, February 23, 2018
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Not really. You know how last time I wrote, last year, talking about how shitty life was, how fucking depressing and miserable and bleak and horrible and pointless and fucked up and horrible and generally negative things were? And how I hoped the next year would be better and things would bloody well have to rapidly improve and I was looking forward to the change of arbirtrary bla bla bla... no I didnt really say that because I wasnt expecting any of that, but the first bit yeah. Well, it's still like the first bit. 2018 sucks. I don't have a lot of hope for that changing very soon. Sorry to be a downer, but one value's one's honesty. Actually that's a lie, I just want to spread the misery. Take that people with relatively alright lives if you look at it in a certain way.